There is so much information “out there” these days about soul mates, heart-centre awakenings, divine counterparts and all the rest of it. You know the pictures…the ones that appear endlessly on Facebook showing beautiful people or angels wrapped in some sort of unearthly embrace and surrounded by euphoric love while experiencing a never-ending cosmic orgasm…
Ding! Back to reality, which for most of us involves something slightly less fantastical, a lot more messy and mostly imperfect (although maybe some of you do have a daily cosmic orgasm – which if you do – rock on!).
Don’t get me wrong – soul connections and the heart centre expansion process are very real. I myself have been through it (much to my shock, as when it happened to me I’d never heard of such a thing and wouldn’t have believed anyone who mentioned it), and continue to expand and evolve that experience for myself and with my partner.
It has been a beautiful experience in my life. Well – eventually. But for the first several years that I was transitioning through this process – I thought I’d entered into some kind of endless spin cycle of emotional hell that I had no idea how to get out of. I thought it must be the worst cosmic joke in history to have a soul connection with another person (it’s just like the pictures right? When does the never-ending orgasm and eternal bliss with each other start?) and then pretty much immediately fall apart and have my life collapse in a heap around me. Oh yeah – and physically ALONE. The fantasy of abandoning all your personal work and just skipping off together in euphoria? Doesn’t happen.
I think the crowning moment of the tougher part of this process and making myself a complete victim to it (which I did), was me flinging myself onto the floor in a fit of sobs (literally) saying, “why doesn’t anyone love me?!” when my (now fiancee!) told me he needed space for a while to deal with everything he was going through and didn’t feel like MOVING IN TOGETHER after we’d really only just met and were both going through divorces was the BEST idea I’d ever had….(haha! Yep, that’s really what I thought was a good idea at that time!).
But, don’t worry, it didn’t end there. Several years later, after a LOT of personal healing and taking responsibility for my own stuff (and my man doing the same) we actually do have a great partnership; our life’s work has evolved out of this process and I feel truly thankful for each day that I’m here on planet Earth.
That’s the reality of going through a heart-expansion process – and not in every situation are you “destined” to have a relationship with the person who catalyses you into it either.
My point in sharing all of this with you is that it’s really critical for people who are going through this process to understand that to get to the GOOD STUFF – you’ve got to work through your OWN “stuff”. it’s not something you can SKIP – and it’s not about how long it takes (honestly if you really want to go deep with it, it takes years, not weeks, not months…) or whether you end up together with someone or not. It’s about healing yourself, opening your heart to unconditional love (for yourself! and for others!) and opening yourself to your personal gifts and abilities that you can share with the world.
And what I wish I’d understood earlier on, is that the path through the heart is filled with both joy and with pain. The heart is where we can experience unimaginable love – but it’s also where we store the pain of our lifetime(s) which blocks us from truly giving and receiving unconditional love. Usually, we firmly lock that pain away until something like a soul connection comes along and blows it open for us to look at – THAT right there is our gift – having an experience so powerful that we have no choice left but to look at ourselves and decide in that moment that we are worth loving – even if no one else has ever told us so.
Like all people, I had some real whoppers of pain, self-judgement, low-self esteem and past abuses I had not acknowledged and lodged firmly in my heart centre. Up until I met my soul connection – I was stubbornly going to live my life in total denial of all that, refuse to acknowledge my energetic and intuitive abilities and leave my wounded inner child and adolescent marooned on an invisible island called “I’m not listening to you”.
I met this person very unexpectedly one day, it blew open my heart centre, and then like 99.9% of all other people I just wanted to do what I’d been programmed to do – which is project all my issues on a relationship and convince myself that if I could just have his love – then the rest of my pain would be healed.
Wah wah… Sorry. No dice.
Cue the next few years of me crying (a lot), losing everything I had (marriage, job, home, career, finances, health etc) and just really not wanting to deal with myself until it got SO bad that I finally threw my hands up in the air and said, “FINE Universe. What do you want from me? Just tell me and I’ll do it!”.
And I did.
(And so can you).
One little step at a time, dedicating myself to addressing my pain and my past so that I could release what no longer served me and invite the new energies in. I decided to love myself – even if no one else ever did (but of course they did because we are all so much more loveable than we ever think!).
Essential oils were a huge part of this for me. The energetic essence of oils have their own individual personalities and intelligence. They each have things to teach us and help us with in our process.
The flower absolutes are especially powerful friends and teachers when it comes to anything to do with the heart. They have a very wide and soft vibration, which allows them to wrap around our heart centres and support us in opening up and releasing our pain and fears so that we can receive unconditional love from ourselves and the Universe – even when we feel that we are just not strong enough or able enough to do it.
The oils that are especially powerful for this type of work are: Rose Otto, Neroli, Jasmine. There are plenty of others, but these three are the creme de la creme of heart centre support and healing.
These oils tend to be really very expensive…but the good news is, you don’t need a lot and most companies sell them already diluted in jojoba oil – which keeps the price very reasonable.
I would put these oils on myself daily, directly anointing my heart centre with them(since they were already diluted) and asking them to help me with what I was going through. I also diffused them in the bedroom and made body mists that I could spray on myself and around my auric field regularly. They worked with me on releasing my pain, having the courage to get all the help I needed and deserved in healing, and in nurturing me to feel loved and cared for along the way.
Many people are very called to work with Rose Otto, and I did find it quite helpful, though I will say that for me personally, Jasmine was my real “power house” oil during my process. I just loved that it also has this very bright, yellow and sunny aspect to it that helped to keep me out of depression and sadness when I was sinking into it for too long. It very gently helped me learn how to be empowered – instead of being a victim.
Spend some time smelling each one and see what you are most drawn to. The oils have their own type of intelligence and will know just how to work with you – wherever you are at in your process – so trust that.
I have so much to say on this topic, but for now, I’m going to leave it at that 🙂 As always, if you would like further assistance or support for anything covered in this blog or other areas of the website – contact me to schedule a session or consultation and I’ll be there!
With all my love, -Lauren